Inconceivably Modern WordPress Backup Myths and Legends

Myths and Legends are from a far-far era when disasters were inexplicable things and impossible to prevent. Yet, we all live in modern times. When we talk about the online solutions available, we’re always talking about the latest iteration of proven facts. No online business survives with horrible services. No business survives with outdated, unsafe, non-secure, untrusted, old version of its core services. Everybody does its best, offers its top-notch solution to its customers. This is how is better for everybody.

This is the case for our WordPress Backup focus. Listening to our customers, we gathered a few of their disastrous experience from their pre-owl power era. These WordPress Backup Myths and Legends have the same root of evil: assumptions, lack of customer information and simple disregard for transparency.

Since a backup’s value is proven every time when it is needed the most – at the restore occasion – urgency (website down/hacked/infected) and impact (not working site/backup or even inexistent/migrated site/backup) pushed the customer to renounce their paid backup solutions or backup provider to contact us for our Undo Disaster or WordPress Backup services. We helped as much as we could, and we analyzed the main reason(s) for unsuccessful restorations when we could not. These reasons are gathered here as simple case studies.

1. I have backup

   I have a backup. I have a backup, on the same server, where my WordPress is. Actually, it was under my WordPress. Now my WordPress is gone. We need a wizard, with strong data recovery spells. Actually, several spells, because we’re talking about several Giga of data. Customer must be a nabob (a classical term for tycoon, magnate, billionaire) if he can afford all this wizardry.




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2. I have the latest backups

   I have the latest backups. I have the latest ten backups. All backups, on the same server, where my WordPress is. Actually, it is under my WordPress. My WordPress is infected. All these unwanted curses (malware, adware and other nasty modern concoctions) compromised everything. And it happened a few days ago. A few more days ago, than we would like. Restore just puts back the infected files. We need a healer, with strong healing spells. Actually, several types of spells, because we also need to shatter the secrecy on how this happened plus to shield the customer from another similar surprise, as soon as we clean the restored WordPress. Customer must be a nabob if he can afford all these shenanigans.

3. I’m ok restoring to last year’s backup

   I’m ok restoring to last year’s backup. I haven’t written anything in over a year. I haven’t made a manual change since August, last year. Nothing changed since then. I would be OK with restoring it back to the August version. Last years August version. I don’t understand how this perfectly preserved cristal ball, my WordPress – has shattered! Well, my liege, it happens. The pillow, where your crystal ball was seated, decided to upgrade its battlements (defensive structures at the tops of the walls). During the construction works, the crystal ball was hit with a rock. It was a crack, that grew wider and wider, till it all shattered.

   The pillow, of course, is your server, and its battlements are the latest updates. We need a dwarven unprecedented stonemasonry skill, to dig up all the shattered pieces of your crystal ball from under the current wreckage. Then we need a clairvoyant mage to put all the pieces together, exactly as your crystal ball was before. Customer must be a nabob if he can afford all these teamsters.




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4. Backup Schedule always runs

   My Backup Schedule always runs. I have put my best Imps to set it up. My Goblins always check if all was ok. My Fairies use their magic to store it safely hidden from prying eyes. Now, we need the backup and we cannot restore. Erroneous reports of the successful backup process (does not start; does not finish; finished, but incomplete; finished, but unusable; finished, but ran out of free space) played tricks on your eyes and ears, my liege.

   You paid your monthly coins, as promised. Yet, your fairies run out of their magic dust. Yet, your goblins were inadvertently careless, due to their nature. Yet, your imps found a new master, while also taking your coins. We need a time travel contraption, to go back and modify the terms of the agreement with those underlings. Customer must be an infinitely patient nabob if we can achieve this.

5. THE perfect escape goat

   Those hypocrite satyrs! They said they are the best! I totally bought that and their services. Now, I need a backup and I don’t have one. What to do? What to do … The Irresistible Personality of Goats tricks all of us, my liege. No Hosting Company Is Perfect. No Backup Company Is Perfect. No Storage Company Is Perfect. No Single Plan Is Perfect, as eternal time unfolds. And remember, my liege: “Goats are always testing you!”